What is motherhood?

Motherhood is about contradictory feelings and extreme emotions, going from pure bliss to despair and anger. No, it does not look rosy. To be a parent is quite a challenge, but also one of the most beautiful human experiences. What being a mom gives you?

I am strong

Before giving birth, I never thought I would be able to do so many things I do not question now. I went through unbearable pain, although crowned with tears of joy; I endured sleepless nights, tiredness. Waiting in the hospital hall when things were not right, hours of carrying, when nothing else soothed endless cries. I had no idea it was SUCH a big deal. But now I feel any effort is much easier to bear, and clenching my teeth from time to time is nothing serious. You have to live through this and that’s just the way it is.

I know I can do more

Motherhood taught me to push myself, seek new solutions for helpless situations. I just know I have to act in all circumstances. I do not panic when I get challenging tasks to accomplish or when bad things happen all at once. It is just work, and being a mom showed me how to deal with much more serious situations, such as dashing to hospital with my son suffering from heavy infection. When things don’t go my way now, I smile to myself and say “but of course I will make it”.

I appreciate little things

First smile, first step, a little warm hand in my hand, talks, shared moments, meals, books, our rituals. Every day so many precious little things happen! For example, yesterday my son asked if we could listen together to the birds singing, as they sounded so pretty. Children open eyes, don’t they? You would not know that before.

I am patient

I know that my sons will grow independent one day, but still so often I feel tempted to help them button their shirts, lace their shoes or push them on their bikes. I realize this is not the way though. I have to support them wisely, be close and caring. Only then my patience will be rewarded and I will be astonished by their accomplishments. So I wait. I wait until they learn their emotions, until their anger, which is stronger than mine, lets go. I wait until they get back from school; I wait for their first loves, failures and tears. Are you waiting, too? If so, you understand my anxiety, but also those joyful butterflies in stomach when they do come back and seek warmth in our arms.